Awkward Introduction

First impressions are everything. However, we don’t always make the best impression when it comes to meeting someone new. But if you’re as socially awkward as I am, you dread every opportunity for social interaction because you’re convinced you’ll mess it up somehow. How simple would it be if we just went straight to the point?

Imagine instead of the typical “hey” or “how are you doing,” you’re given a monologue that goes something like the following.

A Very Honest Greeting

Hi, my name is Bryan Lordeus. I’m 24 at the time of writing this. I’m the third child of Haitian immigrant parents, yet never fully learned my native language. Instead, I’m proficient in English. So much so that I ended up getting a Bachelor’s degree in it.

I have the heart of a poet, the eyes of a visual artist, and the ears of a musician. I like trying different things, which may be a manifestation of my commitment issues. I create purely from impulse and instinct, so there’s no telling what my hands will create on any given day.

I’m addicted to women that won’t love me, afflicted by anger, and apathetic to anyone that slights me in any way. I have trust issues, relationship trauma, and more worries about tomorrow than wonder about today. I’m difficult to love and easy to hate. I’m suicidal on my worst days and barely…