Shooting my Shot at Imaginary Targets

I’m no professional archer or basketball player. Even the most experienced athlete experiences a missed shot or two. But as for me, it seems like I’m always aiming my shot at empty space. No matter how often I train, I might as well be juggling basketballs than shooting them.

Dead on arrival

I’m not only one for awkward introductions, but I’m generally an awkward person when it comes to dealing with people. I have to prepare for every social interaction and even with people that I do like, I automatically assume you will get tired of dealing with me eventually. Sometimes it never clicks that I am worthy of people’s time.

There could be multiple factors for this pessimistic mindset: Self-sabotage, trust issues, negative self-image, etc. After years of struggling with abandonment issues, I felt it was time to finally heal from this internal conflict. Or at least find a way to identify it. After coming to grips with the loss of another potential relationship, some soul searching and a Google search brought me to the realization that I’m suffering from emotional trauma.

Self-diagnosed with PTRS

I’m no mental health expert, so I wouldn’t make this type of self-diagnosis if it wasn’t grounded in truth. If you don’t know what Post Traumatic Relationship…