Member-only story
Stop Being a Nice Guy
It’s not always nice being a nice guy
Hi, my name is Bryan Lordeus and I’m a Nice Guy. I can’t pinpoint when I started exhibiting symptoms of the Nice Guy Syndrome, but it has been a silent assassin of my affections and self-confidence since childhood. I’m a perpetual people pleaser, avoider of conflict, and seeker of approval. I’m often unwilling to let anyone in due to past emotional trauma. I try way too hard to please women and people who will never love me for me. So I play the victim. The passive encourager who would rather die from fake acceptance than critique out loud for fear of possible abandonment. This toxic mindset has done more damage than good. My motivation for intimate connections has dwindled and I’m afraid of commitment. I’m at my wit’s end and I want to finally heal and feel whole. So here I am at the Nice Guy Recovery Program, hoping to finally kill the Nice Guy in me and become an integrated male. Thanks for having me.
Feel free to replace my name with yours. Or you can switch the gender if you feel so inclined. The goal of this recovery program is to diagnose and hopefully dismantle the toxicity that the Nice Guy Syndrome. It will be an uncomfortable and difficult deep dive into the male psyche, but a necessary one.
